Dear Father, Today is not easy, but it is more peaceful than the other days. I cried, asking myself if I am aligned to Your will. I remember the dreams I believed were promises. I also remember Your command:“Do not be afraid to lose what you prayed for. Be still.” I tried to walk in obedience, but along the way I opened the door again. Not out of rebellion, but because I thought maybe this time it was Your will. I didn’t want to—yet I remembered Moses. You told him to go back to Egypt. He was fearful, but he obeyed. Was I like him when I went back? Or was I only following my own desire? Father, today I am sinning. And strangely, I don’t feel guilt—but I cry because I wonder if I failed You. I am afraid this door was never meant to be reopened… or maybe not yet. What frightens me most is not the outcome, but the thought of You leaving me. How do I surrender here? Where? When? I am not confused, but I am heartbroken at the idea of failing You. Is this surrender, or selfishness? I don’t know. What I do know is this: I cannot serve myself and You at the same time. It may not look like it on the outside, but inside—I need You. Even in the silence, I know You are here. Do not let me go. Amen.